Redlight Crossing

I love surfing. It's been one of my favorite sports since High School when I spent a short stint living in Australia. While living there I had the opportunity to learn to surf on some of the greatest breaks in the world. Surfing has always been an area of release and contentment for me. I never realized how much I took for granted living near the coast in Orange County until I moved to a place that is 3 hours from the ocean and a cold, windy, choppy, mushy one at that.

Why do I tell you this? Well, lately I've been feeling discontent. I'm not sure what it is but I feel like there is something coming, something great but I can't figure out what it is. There is an anticipation in my heart, a yearning for something more. The feeling I have is similar to the feeling of anticipation you get while waiting for the drop in on a wave. When sitting in the ocean on a surfboard there is a mixed feeling of contentment and anticipation. You are content because you are doing something you love, often in a group of people you like, but there is also a feeling of anticipation. The horizon is your view, your back to the shore. A rolling blanket draws near you, slowly rising and falling. You wait and wait until finally you see that one ripple in the blanket that you know is going to peak. Your heart jumps and you quickly rotate your body and board around anticipating the wave that is rising behind you. At the right moment you begin to paddle. You dip your hands deep within the water, pushing with deep strokes the water underneath. Suddenly, you feel yourself being sucked backwards and the tail of your board begins to rise. At the right moment you quickly pop and feel the momentum of the wave push you down the face of this powerful force of nature.

Suddenly, it is no longer your power that is pushing you but the natural momentum given by the wave. This feeling that I have, this discontentment/anticipation, is like sitting waiting for that wave to raise me up and generate that natural momentum forward. I feel like there is something greater that is supposed to be part of my life. I'm not referring to God, or my relationship with Christ, I'm referring to who I am as a person and where God is guiding me. I'm sitting, staring at the horizon waiting for that one peak to show its head so I can turn around and paddle.